As I leave the store after picking up my morning snack before I head to work, I see a mother cleaning her sons face. As I walk by, I can see the son bothered by his mother digging in his eye for boogers as if she was digging for gold. In no time, the son jumps and says "OWE" . The mother yells in reply "STOP ACTING LIKE A BITCH. WHY YOU ACTING LIKE A GIRL? STOP JUMPIN' BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS!! YOU WANT ME TO KICK YO' ASS OUT IN HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET???"
Its extremely difficult for a single mother to raise a man. However, does that style of parenting work? I mean, she called her son a "bitch", told him to "stop acting like a girl" and she wanted to go 12 rounds with him in the middle of the street. I guess she wants for her son to be like Ike Turner when he grows up and make his woman "eat the cake"?
This goes on a lot in urban communities where mothers try to break down their childrens psyche to make them feel inferior. Some parents may think they are trying to toughen their boys up. Bless their heart. They mean well but males in Urban America get harassed by police more than flies on cow shit. So why is it that some mothers have to emasculate their boys (might has well leave the foreskin on) when the cops call them bitches and in most cases cooperate America does too. Not only that but the child may develop insecurities and low self esteem because he's been broken down all of his life.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should submit to your child and let him have tantrums without an effect for his behavior either. That's a part of life but there's a difference between having your child fear you and taking away his mental strength. In order to have a strong community, our mothers must raise our boys to have strong minds. Somebody has to because most of America doesn't.
This goes on a lot in urban communities where mothers try to break down their childrens psyche to make them feel inferior. Some parents may think they are trying to toughen their boys up. Bless their heart. They mean well but males in Urban America get harassed by police more than flies on cow shit. So why is it that some mothers have to emasculate their boys (might has well leave the foreskin on) when the cops call them bitches and in most cases cooperate America does too. Not only that but the child may develop insecurities and low self esteem because he's been broken down all of his life.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should submit to your child and let him have tantrums without an effect for his behavior either. That's a part of life but there's a difference between having your child fear you and taking away his mental strength. In order to have a strong community, our mothers must raise our boys to have strong minds. Somebody has to because most of America doesn't.
This hits really close to home for me. As a single mother of two boys I find myself questioning my methods at times. Hearing people say I have to be hard on them or not as compassionate cause they will be soft. I never tell my boys they are acting like girls but I do find myself associating certain actions with girls by saying, "no baby that is for girls" or "girls do that". I try my best not to make my boys afraid of being who they are, but I try my best to teach them how to be respectful independent young men. I can't teach my boys how to throw a football but I can and will teach them how to stand tall and be confident in who they are and want to be without belittling them or calling them names, that is just disgusting. Great blog.
ReplyDeleteYoure right it is disgusting. Parents that do that is setting their kids back. Then they wonder why theyre disprespect women, because the mother made it seem acceptable to talk to people in that tone...
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